Shoebox
by Trangai
Summary: [AxelRiku] There’s a shoebox in Riku’s room with Sora’s name on it.


**S H O E B O X**  
_there's a shoebox in Riku's room with Sora's name on it._

**standard** disclaimers apply.  
this is for Chae-Kyung and Shin.  
and if you know who they are, I love you a little bit more. (;

* * *

**T**here's a shoebox Riku keeps tucked away in his room, placed safely underneath his bed, right next to the teddy bear Selphie gave to him for his seventh birthday and the Blitzball Wakka threw at him when he was ten.

Sometimes, Axel bets Riku thinks he doesn't know it's there. Sometimes, Axel thinks that Riku thinks that he doesn't know what written on top. And most of the time, Axel's sure that Riku thinks that he doesn't know what's inside.

…

—_take a picture; forget about it 'til it's gone._

There's a lot of pictures in that shoebox.

There's pictures of Destiny Islands, of the way the sky looks when the sun sets, of the way the waves look on a cold, windy day. There's pictures of Selphie and Kairi as little girls, dancing together underneath the stars with necklaces made of little white flowers around their necks. There's pictures of Wakka and Tidus, laughing over something that only _they'd_ get, with Wakka's arm thrown around Tidus' shoulders, with Tidus' little finger poking at Wakka's side. There's pictures of Kairi and Riku, locked in half-hugs and friendly kisses on the cheek, smiling as wide as they could. There's pictures of Riku and Tidus, with Riku's hand ruffling Tidus' hair and Tidus pulling at the older boy's longer hair.

But strangely (but maybe not), there's more pictures of _Sora_ than of anybody else.

There's a picture of Sora sitting by the Paopu Tree on Destiny Islands, swinging his legs back and forth, his face stuck in that silly grin, and his eyes glittering in the light of the setting sun. There's a picture of Sora sitting with Selphie, eating ice cream together and laughing about the stupid things that only them two would talk about. There's a picture of Sora and Wakka and Tidus all sitting together on the little island, smiling and laughing and talking about things that Axel probably wouldn't be able to understand. There's a picture of Sora and Kairi standing together at the docks, staring out at the horizon, content looks on their faces, hands locked together between them.

There's a picture of Sora and Riku standing together, Riku's arm thrown around Sora's shoulder, and Sora's arm is wrapped around Riku's waist, and they're both _smiling_ like idiots, and somehow, someway, it hurts Axel a little more each time he looks at it.

…

—_write me a letter; tell me you love me._

There's letters in there, too, you know.

They're not all from Sora, but most of them are. Some of them are from Tidus, who had gone to visit his grandmother on the main island and he had been mailing home letters to anyone who would read them, written in sloppy handwriting and crumpled lined paper. Others are from Kairi, whose parents took her on trips to other islands or other cities during the summer breaks, written in neat, curvy cursive and decorated stationary. Few are from Selphie, who supposedly got bored during her classes during math and started writing letters to her friends in huge cursive, with hearts to dot the I's and little curls and slants to every letter she wrote.

The ones from Sora aren't decorated or messy or dramatically ridiculous, though. They're written in printing, on regular lined paper, folded carefully into threes. There's no _I'm bored_ written every three sentences like in Tidus' letters, or _I wish you were here_ written at the beginning and end like in Kairi's, or _So, I was sitting here_ written in glittery ink like in Selphie's, but instead, there's a _Dear Riku_ written in the corner of the paper. His letters aren't about how bored he is or how much his grandmother smells, or about how the sunsets back at Destiny Islands are so much more prettier or how much he misses everyone back at Destiny Islands, or about how sleepy he is in math class; they're about how much fun he and Riku had fighting on the little island that one rainy day, about how much he missed Riku when he was sick and had to stay inside for three days, about everything and anything best friends (and perhaps, maybe more than that) would talk about.

There's a lot of letters in that shoebox and Axel hates that he never found the time to write any to Riku himself.

…

There's a shoebox in Riku's room that Axel's known about ever since that day he had helped his silver-haired friend clean his room and had stumbled across the old shoebox stuffed underneath his bed. There's a shoebox in Riku's room that has Sora's name written on it in thick, black permanent marker, with _just_ Sora's name on it, and no one else's, even though there are pictures of Selphie _and_ Kairi _and_ Tidus _and_ Wakka, too. There's a shoebox in Riku's room that has pictures and letters and seashells and little bottles of sand and that little cell phone charm that Sora had bought Riku, even though he hadn't even had a cell phone at the time, and every and any little thing from Riku's (and Sora's) childhood.

Axel hates how much it hurts to look at these things--but he just can't stop himself from doing it.

…

—_forget it all; don't look back, boy._

Riku smiles at him sometimes, in that tiny, quiet way that only _Riku_ smiles in. Axel almost never notices it, though. (If he did, he might realize it's so very different from the smiles Riku gives Sora in the pictures.) And when he does notice it, he tilts his head to the side, raises an eyebrow, and asks, "What's wrong?"

Riku wraps an arm around Axel's waist a lot. Axel never seems to notice how much Riku really does, though. (If he did, he'd realize that Riku never did that to Sora in the pictures.) Sometimes, though, Axel wraps his own arms around Riku and somehow, someway, when he closes his eyes and breathes in a scent that's just _Riku_, he just forgets about the shoebox tucked underneath Riku's bed.

Riku smiles and laughs with Axel a lot. Axel, sometimes, looks over and sees that smile (he smiles with Sora, too, you know) and hears that laugh (he laughs with Sora, too), and sometimes, just sometimes, he doesn't remember the shoebox underneath Riku's bed, doesn't remember those pictures of Sora, with Sora, doesn't remember those letters to Sora, from Sora, and sometimes, he does remember.

But most of the time, he can't bring himself to care, because Riku's _here_ with _Axel_, not _Sora_, and somehow, just listening to Riku laugh and just seeing him smile, is _enough._ Most of the time, when Riku's sitting next to him, smiling at everything and nothing at the same time, he doesn't care about that shoebox, because even though there's memories of Riku and Sora in that box, memories that Axel hates and envies, memories that Axel can't touch, he and Riku are _making_ memories.

And he knows Riku's not going to have to keep a shoebox full of memories for them, because Axel knows he'll always be there to help Riku remember these times of sunsets, of smiles and laughs, of little, half-hugs, and of all those little moments that seem like nothing but mean everything.

_There's a shoebox in Riku's room with Sora's name on it._

And Axel, being Axel, knows that there'll never be a shoebox in Riku's room underneath the bed, right next to Selphie's teddy bear and Wakka's Blitzball, with Axel's name written on it, written in huge black letters in permanent ink.

_finis. _

* * *

I hope you all had a great new year and a wonderful Christmas. (:_  
_


End file.
